WiFi: connected
    Me: then fucking act like it
    police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
    me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
    police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook

lvysaur:

osamah:

lvysaur:

i could use a good laugh

haha

thanks

(Source: nxte, via hijerking)

citgo:

rosaparking:

GRAPES ARE DISGUSTING

image

(via hannahinthesnow)

drakefanclub:

Tumblr please notify me when most of my mutuals are online so I can post my selfie

(via the-sassy-super-hero)

alvaroruso13:

when youre in 1st place in Mario Kart and someone throws a blue shell

image 

(via borinq)

thirstiest:

no i can’t post that right now i already said goodnight

(Source: thirstiest, via the-sassy-super-hero)

lamapalooza:

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

(Source: lamapalooza, via cantsleep-cantbreathe)